The Road Not Taken

BY ROBERT FROST

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

My Dad and I have discussed this poem many times over the years. The meaning I see used most often in motivational posters and stickers, is that getting off that beaten path and being a trailblazer is the way to an amazing life. That's great for whoever needs it to mean that, but I tend to look at it as more not overthinking our choices, and for sure not letting ourselves dwell on things beyond our control. Problem with poetry is that there's just so many interpretations, and yet, I never changed his mind by pointing out that he sent me to school to learn how to do just that.

I chose a Creative Writing major, clearly thinking it was going to be more lucrative than it turned out to be, and then to add insult to injury, I didn't even finish the degree. What I did instead was sink into a depression and anxiety that the thought of going to class again was making me sick. It was a hard choice to decide to go ahead and leave school when they finally placed me on academic probation which disrupted my financial aid eligibility.

It was hard because the university life itself, the social groups I'd joined and the friends I made were some of my best memories. 10+ years later, I've always maintained that I was terrible at the scholarly part, but that college was some of my favorite experiences. Time moves on, though, and we can't stop so early in our lives.

As I moved on from that chapter in my life, I found myself on that path least traveled. I had not done any of those things that society made me feel was success: no partner, no kids, no house. It seems to me that is happening more and more these days, we're going off on our own, but personally, it has not made it easier to realize that. Somehow my feeds are still filled with couples and families that sometimes feel like I'm being mocked for not having that version of a life. Maybe it's just living in the Midwest? Is it just easier to feel outnumbered here?

So, a few years ago, I decided I was wasting too much time. I was waiting for a partner, that frankly, I'm not sure I even wanted, to go see the world with. And while it would for sure give me a break on hotel costs to have a second income along for the ride, I decided I wasn't putting off seeing the world anymore. I could go by myself.

And what a double edged sword!! I do find there's trips I wish I had another person to see what I've seen, and occasionally, I do take someone along. However, more often, there's just such a freedom to going out on my own, not having to worry if someone else is having fun, if they're irritated by my car singing voice, to not have to worry about too many or too few breaks, and for sure no frustration over how many stops at Wal-Mart I'd be making!

So the point of this blog, is to share more about my trips, hoping to help someone out there be encouraged when facing their own road less traveled; to stop looking back on the other million ways out lives might have turned out and be regretful. We've got to remember how we've grown, but not let it slow us down from living the life that is the best for each individual. (And to finally put that almost degree in creative writing to work...)